Solitude
by fujinakaheero
Summary: Yes it's another High school fic, but it's a song fic to Evenanscence's Solitude. Such a great song. Heero and Duo are best friends, the catch? No one, besides them know. What is in store for them? Read and Find out!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone, new story here! Hope you like it. Just leave a review behind when you're done reading this please, 'cause it would nice to have a review for this story.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters so don't sue. My story is mine though so you can't take that away from me.

**CHAPTER 1**

_How many times have you told me, you love her  
As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth_

I walked down the hall with my friends, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei as a crows stood by my lockers. I already knew who it was that was in the centre of that crowd, his name Duo Maxwell, the hottest and most popular guy at school. By his side stood as women a little shorter than him, her name was Hilde. Just thinking about them together made my blood boil. Why? Well, Duo Maxwell may not talk to me when we're around our friends but when were alone and no one can see, we're best friends. We hang out after school and talk about our lives. We met back in nineth grade after he moved here, where I lived. Right from the start he was popular but in secret we had become friends. Later on I realized I was falling in-love with my best friend who had started to date Hilde, the school slut, as I liked to call her. I knew right than that I couldn't tell him the truth for in grade eleven he told me that he was falling in-love with her. It had hurt to hear that come from his mouth and so I kept his friendship close to me and held it dearly. I know I sound sappy right now but that's how I fell at the moment. Every once in a while we would break out in a fight at school so people wouldn't think things about him and I and laughed about it later at home. Now we're in our last year of high school and I can finally leave this heart-ache and pain behind and find a new life and a new love.

_How long have I stood beside you?_

Ha! Yeah right, who am I kidding. I'll never be able to get over him no matter what. He's to perfect for me to forget.

"Oh look who it is, pathetic Heero Yuy and his useless groupies." Yep today was one of our fighting days. I looked up at him and noticed his smiling eyes but angry lips, oh how I wanted to kiss those lips right now was not the time to think about such things. My eyes glowed back at his as I came up with a witty come back.  
"You and your little oregy group are in my way. So unless you want to stay and catch some kind of disease from my locker you should move." As always we both found this fun.

"Your right, we wouldn't want to catch your disease. Let's go guys." As they left the girls had decided that it was now cool to put their hands in my face as they followed Duo like lost dogs who didn't know where else to go. I was laughing inside but on the outside I was scowling as the group laughed as they walked away. What idiots they were.

That night Duo and I decided to stay at my house and rent some movies and get some take-out. As usual Duo started talking about Hilde, my least favorite topic. I sighed and went along with him but it was killing me to do so. It hurt me to hear the way he talked about her, as if she was a angel who fell from heaven and into his arms. As I prentend to listen the next thing he said made me look at him, my face draining of colour as he said it.

"I told Hilde that I loved her today, she didn't say anything back but I guess it was a shock to her. Oh Heero, I think I want to marry her after school is done and over with. If I do ask her to marry me I hope she says yes." My heart broke alittle more at hearing this confession. Of course, me being the best friend who isn't gay and in love with their best friend, didn't let it show on my face. Instead I put on the calm, not caring, happy face so he wouldn't see my true emotions that I felt at that moment.

"Hn, whatever. Do what you want to do with your life. I wont be around for it though. I'm going to be leaving after graduation. I got accepted to Tokyo University. I have to go there and find an appartment near compus. I hope everything goes well for you after school is out." I walked by Duo, whose mouth was hanging open, shock was written all over his face. Yes this is how I acted towards him, as if I didn't care what he did, because if I acted as if I cared than who knows what I would say to him. I might let it slip that I have fallen in love with him.

"When were you planning on telling me this news? Heero you know we don't keep secrets from one another, so why did you keep this from me? I'm your best friend. Best friends don't hide stuff from one another."

_I live through you,  
You look through me_

If only he knew what I kept a lot of secrets from him, than he would hate me and never talk to me again. Not because I didn't tell him just because he's straight and he hates gay guys.

"Hn, you've been busy with Hilde so I was waiting until you came over to tell you face-to-face because I thought it would be better than a quick 'hey Duo, oh I'm going to be leaving after grad but since your busy I thought I'd just tell you and say goodbye now.' What do you think I am Duo? I wouldn't want to do that." A sad expression came over his face now. He did something that surprised me beyond belief. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me. Tears spilling down his cheeks.

Oh if only he was crying because he didn't want me to go because of our love that would be lost if I left. Yes I am a romantic and I admit to it but I admit it only to myself and not to anyone else.

I just stood there, not knowing what to do or say at that moment. It was as if I was frozen in that spot, shock still not leaving my body. "Heero, what am I going to do when you leave? You're my best friend. I need you." I looked down at him and saw something more in his eyes that I didn't really get. I just let it go for the time being not trying to figure out what exactly that I saw in his eyes at that one moment.

_Ooh, Solitude,  
Still with me is only you_

That night I just watched Duo sleep as I laid wide awake in bed. I have never seen Duo cry before and now that I had, I didn't want to make him cry again KAMI! What am I going to do? I turned to him again, now noticing that I was stroking his lose bound hair. It felt like silk as I ran my fingers through it.I looked back at the ceiling and thought over my options.A) Stay here and go to the University here to stay with Duo. B) Tell Duo how I feel about him and than leave when he gets pissed off at me and never wants to see me again. C) Just leave after grad and don't tell him that I left. D) Stay here and be miserable for the rest of my life.

_ Ooh, Solitude I can't stay away from you _

I'm so confused now, I really want to go to Tokyo and get a good job, but if I got Duo will be sad. But if I don't than I'll regret it, what do I do? Maybe it's time that I talk to my friends and come clean with them. I know they wont hate me for being gay. I mean Trowa and Quatre are together and Wufei did have a boyfriend at one point. Alright than, come Monday morning I'll tell them everything, right from when Duo and I became friends when he first came to our school right to my current situation of me liking him and than wanting to leave this place to get away from the heart break.

A/N: Well that's the first chapter! Hope you liked it, I'm gonna start typing up the next chapter maybe tomorrow or something. REVIEWplease! I would really like seeing a review or two for this story please. Anyways Until next time!  
JA NE! R&R!  
fujinakaheero


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright well this is the next instalment to Solitude, though I didn't get many reviews I'm still going on with this story because I already have the whole thing finished on paper and now I'm typing it up on my computer. Anyways to those who are currently keeping up with this story thank you and enjoy this chapter...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing I simply borrow the characters for my stories and put them back in... mint condition.

- song

" "- talking

- time change

**Solitude: Chapter 2**

_How many times have I done this to myself?_

It was Monday morning and man was I a wreck. I had barely slept the night before because I was up most of the night trying to decide what I should do and what I should say to everyone.

I pulled my car into the parking lot and looked up to see Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei waiting for me to arrive. Wufei had his arms crossed over his chest with his black shoulder-length hair down today, something must have been wrong with him because he only wears his hair down when he is frustrated about something and doesn't want ot deal with putting his hair up incase he felt the need to rip the damn thing out of his scalp instead. I gave him a questioning glare as he walked towards me.

"Chang, what do you want?" I asked as he stopped just infront of me. He took a moment before replying to me.

"I need advice." He said slowly. My eyebrow raised as I let his words sink in, since when does Chang need my advice?

"Why me?"

"Because you are good at giving advice," he paused for a moment before going on, "You know Sally Po correct?" I nodded and waited for him to go on. "Ok.. well you see, um, you remember how we all went to that party last month? Well her and I met up there and we kind of had this one night thing and now I've heard she might be.. well she might be carrying my child." This time both my eyebrows rose and were lost in my bangs. This was unexpected.

"Um Wufei, I don't know what to say. Do you like this girl?" I waited for a reply. He nodded and looked at me with questioning eyes. "Alright well maybe you should ask her out than. Get to know her. I mean if you are the father of the baby, if there is one, than you should try to make an effort. That's the only advice I can give you for now." He nodded his thanks and we headed back towards the whispering couple. I took a deep breath and began what I had made up over the weekend.

"You guys I, um..." I bit my lips out of nerves and went on. ".. I need to tell you something but not out here, in private." They all at once gave questioning looks to me and each other, wondering what could have been bothering me so greatly, but nodded. We decided to go to the back campus where only the tokers and smokers hung out. We went by them and went to an empty spot. As we passed the bleachers, I saw Duo and Hilde making out behind them. My heart clenched at the site as he took a step back from her and saw me passing by with my friends. His eyes gave me a confused look, but I just shook my head at him. He knew we never came back here unless we wanted to speak privately. We went on by and found a good patch of grass to sit on. We sat in a circle and all eyes were on me.

"Ok first thing I wanted to tell you is um, that I'm gay." The first part of my speech was done and I let go of the breath I'd been holding. They all looked at me than each other and laughed. I was taken aback at the way they took the information.

"Well no shit Heero. We could have told you that. It's kind of obvious." I looked at them in disbelief and suddenly I began to laugh slightly as well. One thing down, one, no two more things to go. I sighed mentally.

"Ok well next thing I wanted to tell you. Well you know Duo Maxwell right?" They all looked at me again, smiles gone now and nodded. I swallowed my pride and went on. "Well back in nineth grade when he came we met and became friends and um... well we're best friends now, we just keep up appearances. You know the thing that people say, 'Popular people can't be friends with the _freaks.' _" They nodded their agreement, but their faces were ones of shock and surprise. "And the last thing I wanted to tell you guys is that." I took another deep breath and went on. "Well, I think I'm inlove with him. I want to get away from him because each time I see him with Hilde my heart hurts so much. He wants me to stay and I don't know what to do. I want to get over him so badly. I can't take the pain anymore. I think I might be leaving after high school is done."

_How long will it take 'til I see_

I told them everything else that was on my mind and they decided to tell me that I should hook up with someone else instead. A fresh start, as they said. They also told me that they thought Duo was gay, but weren't really sure. That just made me laugh when I heard that. Duo and gay were two things that did not belong in the same sentence.

That day at lunch they introduced me to another senior that went by the name Milliardo Peacecraft or as he liked to be called Zechs, Relena Peacecraft's big brother. I never did get why he wanted to be called Zechs instead. I did have to say though, he was very hot and his personality was something that I had yet to see. He asked me out on a date for Friday and I accepted, wanting 'a fresh start' with someone new. After that we spent some time together and got to know one another. I saw the way Duo looked at us as we walked down the halls together or sat together at lunch. There was always something in his eyes that I never understood when I looked at him and our eyes would meet.

On Thursday night Duo decided to call.

"Moshi moshi?" I said, already knowing who it was on the other side of the line.

"Ha, ha, very funny." He said sarcastically

"Yes, I know. Anyways, why are you calling? You haven't called all week."

"I wanna know what's up with you and that Zechs dude? When did you two start hanging out with each other?"

"Since he asked me out on a date tomorrow and I accepted." I heard Duo spit out the mouthful of whatever he'd just taken a drink of and cough on the other side of the phone line. I smirked slightly at hearing this.

"W-what? Heero you're not gay... right?" His voice was timid and non-believing, just as it always was when there were rumors spread about myself being gay. He should have believed some of them for they really were true.

"No Duo. I am gay, I just never told you."

"And why not?" I could hear the anger in his voice and already knew that he had his arms crossed across his chest.

"I really didn't think my sexual preference was a big deal. Why does it matter if I like women or men, in this case men?" The other side was silent. I knew I got him there. "Ne? See what I mean?"

"Heero... I just want you to be careful with him, okay? Promise me that you won't do anything you'll regret after, please?"

"Duo, I'm not five. I can take care of myself. So, what are you doing for March Break?" He sighed, but he didn't push the subject. I was greatful.

"Hilde and I were thinking of going to a nice city and staying there for most of it. What about you?"

_When will this hole in my heart be mended?_

I knew getting over Duo was going to be like getting over a drug addiction. It was going to be hard. Each time he so much as mentioned her name, I felt as if another red-hot knife had been jabbed into my heart. Piece by piece, it slowly broke apart. Gods, I swear sometimes I'm too much of a sappy person. I collected my wits and finally replied to his question. "Nothing that I know of as of yet. Maybe Zechs and I can spend some time together." I was greeted with silence again. "Duo? Duo are you still there?" He seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking about and gave a small 'sorry.' After that, he said he'd call again tomorrow after school before my date with Zechs. I had to wonder what made him so interested all of the sudden. It confused me. Maybe it was the fact that I'd just told him I was gay. I paused at this and noticed that my heart was pounding in my chest. Would this change anything between us? Well, if for the better then maybe I could deal with that, but for the worst, I wouldn't be able to take it. I sighed and headed to bed, just wanting this day to be over with.

I threw my backpack on the kitchen table as I walked through the kitchen. I'd just got home from school. Today was just one weird day. Duo had caught me inbetween classes today and said he wanted to talk to me. I'd said ok, even though I should have been back in class by then.

FLASHBACK

"Heero, I really don't think you should go out with Zechs tonight. I don't trust him. What if he tries to put the moves on you? Heero, you gotta listen to me. He doesn't have the best reputation and he's bigger than you. He could do anything to you and you'd be all alone." I shook my head. What right had he to be telling me who I could and could not date. He wasn't my mother and I made a point of telling him just that.

"Duo, you are not my mother! I don't need you telling me who I can and cannot date, besides he is a nice person and I think I like him." I looked at him, he looked like he was... furious? Was he jealous? No. That was just me getting my hopes up. Like Duo would be jealous. "Duo I'll be alright. Zechs really is a very nice person and he hasn't tried to do anything to me when we've been alone at my house or his either, okay? Just trust me." I said. He nodded his head uncertainly.

"Alright, you win. But... You gotta call me later on tonight when you get back from your date, alright?" I sighed, but agreed.

I groaned as I heard the final bell ring, I had just missed the last fifteen minutes of class talking to Duo.

I went back to class to get my things when I saw Zechs standing outside my classroom door. He smirked at me and I grinned slightly back to him.

"You ready?" He asked me

"I just need to get my school bag. What time are you getting me at tonight?" I asked the taller man infront of me.

"Mmm... Six sound fine to you?" I nodded and headed back into my classroom to get my backpack, telling the teacher goodbye and grabbed the sheet she had passed out through class while I was gone to the bathroom. Or so I had told her.

END FLASHBACK

I looked at the kitchen table to see there was a note on it from my mom. Her and dad had gone out again, wouldn't be back until next week and there was spare money if I needed anything. They were always gone so they didn't know much about my life and I was use to it for it has always been like this since I was old enough to take care of myself for more than a night. I looked at the clock that read it was only four o'clock right now. I still had another two hours to burn before Zechs even came here to pick me up. I decided that I might as well take a shower and clean up alittle before I went anywhere.

Only an hour had passed and I had cleaned up, was almost fully dressed I just needed a shirt but I decided I would worry about that around 5:30. Why was the time going by so slow? Was time against me today or something? As I turned on some music I heard the phone ring. I picked it up and pressed it against my ear.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Heero did you not get my message? I said call me when you got this and you most certainly didn't."

"Why was I suppose to call you Duo?" I asked, not in the mood to fight and I could tell he wanted to yell.

"Does you friends know about us? I mean not like that. I mean do they know about us being friends?" I raised an eyebrow at this. What the hell?

"Yes why?" I still didn't get why it mattered.

"Because one of them decided to say hi to me infront of everyone. They were asking how you were doing because they were worried and that I should talk to you since you still seemed to be upset and whatever else." I sat there completely silently, totally speechless at the moment. "Yeah see what I mean? Heero tell your friends to watch it next time or I wont be as nice to them as I was today."

"Hn. I needed to go Duo, we can talk more about that later. I still have to finish getting dressed before Zechs comes ove-" I heard the door bell ring and looked at the clock. He was early. I walked to the front door, phone still pressed against my ear. Duo was talking again.

"Heero? Heero is he there?" I ignored him and opened the door. Zechs stood there in a black turtleneck shirt with black tight jeans that hugged his legs just right with his blonde hair flowing out behind him. The sight before me was breath taking and I could barely think.

"Hello Zechs, um can you give me a few minutes to finish getting ready and finish this phone call? I'll be right back. Just make youself at home." I looked back to see Zechs run his eyes up and down my body, sending slight sivers down my spine.

I shut my door to my room and looked for a shirt I wanted to wear.

"Heero answer me!" I snapped out of my thoughts and realised that I was still on the phone with Duo.

"Sorry. Listen I need to go. I'll call you later after my date is done."

"But Heero-"

"Talk to you later Duo." I hung up the phone. I knew he would be angry when I talked to him later but at the moment I didn't care. I decided to wear a silk white button down shirt to go with my white baggy pants I was wearing. I walked back downstairs to see Zechs sitting back on the couch. He looked at me as I walked into the living room.

"Ready to go?" He smirked at me as he got up when I asked and ranked his eyes up and down my body again.

"Yes. Let's go shall we?" He said, I put my shoes on, grabbed a coat and we were out the door.

Our date had gone well. He took me out to dinner and afterwards he took me to the movies, we had kissed a couple times, held hands and by the end of it I was leaning against him. As he walked me back to my front door I had made up my mind to ask him in. I knew that it was more or less going to be a one night thing for us because of who we were and my feelings for Duo were to strong. He accepted and I brought him up to my room. As soon as my door was shut his lips were on mine. Our clothes were stripped and our heated naked bodies we up against one anothers as he fucked me. Yeah that's all that was, just sex, no love.

After we gathered ourselves back up he started to get his clothes back on saying he had to go but he had a good time. I really didn't care that he was leaving it did bother me though that I didn't think before I did this. That was my first time and I had just wasted it. Shortly after he left I was snapped out of my thoughts by the phone. It was just after two in the morning so who would be calling?

"Hello?" I answered, that whole after sex glow still with me.

"Heero? I just listened, I still wasn't sure who it was. "Gods where have you been? I've been waiting for you to call all evening." i sighed as I finally figured out who it was, Duo.

"Zechs just left, that's why I didn't call sooner. Gomen." I knew I shouldn't have said that but something inside of me felt the need to.

"What! Heero please don't tell me you had sex with him!"

"Ok I wont." I could just see his face now, his eyes wide and mouth hung open. I couldn't believe I was telling him though, this wasn't me. What was making me say this?

"Heero! What happened to waiting until you found the one? What's happened to you?"

"I did find the one Duo, but he's already taken. I went to the next best thing even if it was only a one night thing." I was glad he couldn't see me than. I was coming down from my high and was becoming less confident and more of a wreck. What had I just done?

_Who now is left alone but me?_


	3. ANPlease read

**A/N: **Hey everyone! I'm glad to see this story is doing farely well on mediaminer and fanfiction. I'm sorry that I haven't gotten the next chapter up yet but my disk that had the 3rd chapter saved on it has gone missing at the moment and so I am still trying to find it. Anyways, I'm glad that you all like it so far. As well for people that read this story on mediaminer, as you have noticed my first chapter is messed up right now, if you would like to read it with the proper format then go to here: **http/ **this does have the first chapter in it's proper format. So anyways, thanks again for the repsonses and emails for this story, I really did like writing the outline for this story and I'm having even more fun writing it out in good on the computer. Anyways, I promise that once I get my disk back and finish up the 3rd chapter is will be posted. So keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best. smiles thanks again everyone!

Love,

**Fujinakaheero**


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